Office Life

I left work early today because Dad was in town. We went to the Jewish Museum and talked. Meanwhile, my coworker Sabrina (who has been there since the beginning with me), suffered with our two other co-workers. Here is an email she sent me after work:

Max is driving me crazzy!!! He is drinking a pink coolatta and being himself....ahhhhh. I realize that I only find him amusing when you are here. When you are gone, he is simply annoying.

He keeps saying out loud what he is doing...... now he is dancing...and is asking me if I have seen Indian dancing in movies.

Now he is explaining how NYC has multiple area codes to Olivia.

Max: Supervisor at eastchester dot org
Max: that is no fun we spelled the name of the city wrong.
Max: Are my teeth all red?
Me: Yes (they aren't)
Max 2 minutes later: Are my teeth all red?
Me: Yes (they still aren't) and your mouth is all red too (it is not)
Max 3 minutes later: I can't believe my teeth are all red.
Max 2 minutes later: Olivia, are my teeth all red?
Olivia: No
Max angrily: Sabrina, why did you lie to me?
I just laugh.
Max: They ended their day at 3.
Max: That is funny. I am laughing.
Max: Colavida. There is a guy named Colavida.
Max: I have that. I have that. I have that. I have that. I have that.
Max: Will you help me find the town of Glenville. Wouldn't you like to go there with me Sabrina?
Olivia: You don't want to go to Glenville except there is a great restaurant there: The Water Edge lighthouse.
Max: Is there actually water there?
Olivia: Yes.
Max: What type of food do they serve?
Olivia: uh, ah, um....I'm not really sure
Max: Of the two pages I was originally assigned I am done.
Olivia: really.
Max: Yes, except now I have to do another one because of Josh. (He made me give him your sheet because he said he had to do it).
Max keeps playing with his little toy and looks bemused.
I laugh.
Max: What are you laughing at?

I can no longer see him. He is on top of Olivia.

Max: Which subway did you take to Coney Island?
Olivia: the Q
I am laughing
Max: Why are you laughing Sabrina? You need to take things more seriously.
Max 2 minutes later: Wow we all took trains to Coney Island.
Max to me: Why are you laughing? You be quiet.
Max to me: I don't appreciate your backsass
Max: Sabrina, do you want to live in the city of Co-hoes?
Josh corrects him and says that it is not pronounced in that manner.
Max: Why is it not pronounced Co-hoes?
Josh: Please try to elevate your discourse Max.
Max: I am so funny.
Max: No I am not.
Max: Why do you keep laughing Sabrina.
Me: I am bringing joy to the office Max.
Max: I like to question your joy. I wonder about your joy.
Max: Did you totally karate chop your list?
Max: Did you spend like years doing your handwriting.
Max: di da di dir dir dir dir dir dir dir
Max: Oh Sabrina, Sabrina, Sabrina, Sabrina.

Max is now staring at me. He won't stop. I am getting a little freaked out.


Max: The City of New Roch-elle.
Max: You're so vain.
Max: New Rock. There are people I know that go to that high school and they call it New Rock.
Max: What a good looking fella the Mayor is. Look at his photo.
Max to Olivia: How far away are you from Rye? How far away are you from New Rock? Are you near the Hudson?
Max: Would you go to playland a lot Olivia?
Olivia: yeah.

Max is coming towards me. He goes to the pencil sharpener. He sharpens his pencil and pretends to throw it at me and says: now I can throw it at you like a lazer.

Max: blade, lazer, blazer
Max: Bet you think this song is about you.
Max: Daniel J. Deliah
Max: This is such a bad website. There is nothing on it.
Max: it is just so bad.
Max turns to Olivia: The town of Princetown, hahahaha
Max: We must find Steve Motis.
Me: Max, if you could be a bird what bird would you be?
Max: an eagle because it has big wings and it has white hair.
Max: he looks like JFK.
Me: Max, if you could be any drink what drink would you be?
Max: a mojito, everyone loves mojitos.
Max: The City of Troy.
Max: Ok, this has to be wrong. I don't like it. I don't approve.
Max: I hear you laughing Sabrina and I don't like it.
Max: Oh Sabrina, Sabrina, Sabrina, Sabrina. That is your name.
Max while raising his hands in the air: Raise the roof, raise the roof, raise the roof. I am done.
Max: Apparently I am very popular. I got a lot of emails today. A lot. So much that I had to kill people to get them to stop sending me email.
Max: Apparently we need magenta toner.
Max: Did I just get more mail from more people.

Max sticks a pencil in his ear.

Max: It is time to shut down.

Max grabs his book and gives me a weird smirk. Now he is prentending he has a beard.

Max: Did Josh turn off his computer?
He touches your stuff.
Me: Yes, don't touch his stuff.

Max calls me and tells me to come over. I tell him I can't and he says fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine.


With that I am out of here.



Sabrina